


Why you shouldn't eat spiders

by Snolferd



Category: Contest - Fandom, Horrid Spider, Jim Sterling - Fandom, The Jimquisition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-05-07 18:39:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14677041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snolferd/pseuds/Snolferd
Summary: My mother always told me not to eat spiders





	Why you shouldn't eat spiders

My mother always used to tell me not to eat spiders. They would span a web in my mouth and lay a big egg, she told me. And then she continued to frighten me with explaining, in gruesome detail no less, how the egg would hatch, and the pitter patter of tiny spider feet would explore the inside of mouth, and then it would try to crawl out through my nose. Such a small hole won’t fit a spider of the size of the one that hatched in my mouth, so it would pitter patter back, crawl its way through the web in the back of my throat. That would make me gag a little, my mother promised, and the stomach acid wafting through my mouth hole would scare the spider so much, it would hastily slither back, but, in its haste get entangled in its own web thrashing around and causing an unbearable tickling in my mouth. 

I would be so scared, she wouldn’t go on. Now, 20 years later, I forgot all about this story. Until now. I saw a delicious looking spider just sitting out in the sun in my garden. I knew it was wrong, but simply couldn’t resist. It’s swollen back body just looked so juicy, so I put it in my mouth. It creeped around a bit in my mouth, and then I lost it. “Must have swallowed it.” I thought. I was wrong. The next morning, I peered into the mirror and lo and behold, there was a shiny golden spider egg in a spider’s web in the back of my mouth! I panicked thinking back to the childhood horror stories, and while I was busy being amazed by this rather peculiar occurrence, a spider painfully crept its way up from my windpipe! His feet, thrusting deeply into my flesh with each step it took, it seemed to almost grin! It joyously explored my nose-holes to the point of bleeding, and while leaving me in this torturous hell it must have seen itself in the mirror and thought it a rival mouth dweller, as it leaped forward, and its fat back body got stuck on my teeth. This was where my mother stopped, but this is not where reality stops. Reality is: I, unsuccessfully, threw up and actually died of suffocation. On top of that the stomach acid still stuck in my throat was so acidic that it burned off my head from my body and fused the back-body of the spider to the inside of my mouth. The spider continued to live on and grow, but only a select number of individuals know of its existence. And even a fewer number of those men and women can claim to be alive.

_This is the shocking story testament of a man who denied the wise words of his mother. Do not ask me how I acquired such knowledge of the eldritch and forbidden for it is of unethical origin. ___


End file.
